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Elk Grove mom center of controversy

This topic contains 49 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  saramarshall 5 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #174058

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    I’m sure by now most everyone has seen this on Facebook, TV or other Internet sources. Very ridiculous that this is even newsworthy or controversial. How is posting a photo of yourself looking fit, with a caption of “what’s your excuse?” controversial? It’s nothing but a bunch of jealous, overweight people who are mad because they can’t get be that fit by sitting around taking a pill. If someone works that hard to get fit, kudos to them. I’m going to call bullsh*t on any stay at home mom who says they don’t have time to get in shape. They make jogger strollers and kids don’t need your attention every minute. It’s just an excuse. Don’t be jealous.

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    http://www.sacbee.com/2013/10/17/5831234/maria-kang-of-elk-grove-ignites.html

    Elk Grove mother and fitness buff Maria Kang has ignited a firestorm in cyberspace with her “what’s your excuse?” Facebook photo, which shows her in a sports bra and short shorts, posing with her three young sons. Some call it flattering and inspiring, others call it insulting and overly revealing, but Kang’s photo has gone viral – and global – as media outlets from California to London have covered the controversy.

    Posters and bloggers have accused Kang, 32, of “fat shaming,” claiming her photo suggests that all women can look like her if they just work hard enough. On her blog about motherhood, Theinklingsoflife.com, Morgan Moss declared: “You, as a woman, should be ashamed that you are furthering the downward spiral of how society views women, and how we women view ourselves. … Most REAL moms don’t look like you, sweetheart.”

    Kang has been called a hurtful, hateful bully. One online commenter said, “People like you who post pictures like this make me cry because without surgery I will never look like you.”

    By Thursday morning, Kang’s Facebook photo had generated 236,756 “likes,” 20,655 “shares” and 31,650 comments, and Kang said the international exposure, ranging from CNN to Good Morning America, The New York Daily News and The Daily Mail in Great Britain, has pushed her page views to 1 million. Kang recently told her critics: “I’m sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I … had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer.”

    Kang said her Facebook photo, posted to promote her free fitness classes, meant to send the message that women should “make no excuses not to follow through on your fitness action plan.”

    Kang, who runs two board-and-care homes for the elderly, says she doesn’t profit from fitness and just wants to help people get healthy. She runs an unpaid nonprofit, Fitness Without Borders, a free Mom-Me Fit Club that meets in public parks three times a week and free 12-week family fitness boot camps.

    “I discovered fitness was my passion because my mom was very sick, had diabetes, heart disease, kidney failure and a stroke at a young age because of her eating habits and lack of exercises,” shesaid.

    Kang said she has battled her weight and, from ages 23 to 27, struggled with bulimia. “I was binging and purging three times a day, five times a week for four years straight,” she said. Kang, a Catholic, said she turned to prayer and moved from San Francisco back home to Elk Grove to help her mother, who needed dialysis three times a week.

    A graduate of Laguna Creek High School and UC Davis, Kang has been a cheerleader, kickboxer, personal trainer and beauty pageant winner, but gained 35 to 40 pounds with each pregnancy. Her sons Christian, Nicholas and Gabriel are now 4, 3 and 1.

    She said she started the Mom-Me Fit Club in 2009, using a grant from First Five Sacramento. She said 15 to 20 moms bring their kids to each outdoor session to work out. “We do ab exercises, circuit training, lunges – it’s really inspirational,” said Kang, who first posted the “What’s your excuse?” photo in September 2012 to launch her fitness Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/MariaMKang, and reposted it a few weeks ago.

    Asked to describe her fitness regimen: Kang said she wakes up at 6 a.m., tries to run 3 miles on her treadmill, and serves her kids raisin bran, sweet potato pancakes, fruit or eggs for breakfast – “no pop tarts, no sugar cereals.” She squeezes in an hour of strength-training at California Family Fitness by taking her children to the gym’s child-care center.

    Getting in shape “only takes 30 minutes a day” and doesn’t require a gym, Kang said. “Wake up an hour earlier, do it at lunch time or after dinner instead of watching TV. Eating is 80percent of your results.”

    Kang said she thinks walking is the best exercise, and she encourages moms who work out with her in the park to do 20 pushups, squats, crunches and jumping jacks five times in a row without stopping. “You’ll get a pretty good workout without any gym,” she said.

    At least one Northern California blogger offers Kang grudging respect on her Facebook page. Janelle Hanchett of Renegademothering.com declares: “Maria Kang, I hate you. But you’re right. And now I hate you more. … I am currently 40 pounds overweight. Why? Because I use food for emotional comfort. Because I’m lazy. Because I put things before my health. … I don’t like the woman because she’s done what I’m not doing. … I’m tired of feeling like (obscenity) and I’m tired of my own excuses.”

    Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/10/17/5831234/maria-kang-of-elk-grove-ignites.html#storylink=cpy

  • #259194

    LC
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    She was on Megyn Kelly tonight and handled herself very well. Kelly tried to shake her, but couldn’t do it. She didn’t do anything wrong with her post. Must have been a slow news night to have her on her show.

  • #259204

    kindrlindr
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    I find it amusing that using the word “excuse” is why everyone is so up in arms. Excuse me? In my opinion, its nothing negative at all. It’s like she was telling you that YOU can do it too, once you get past the excuses. Motivational. She looks amazing!!!! And she has overcome an obstacle to get where she is. Haters keep hating, while SHE looks good! DAMN good.

  • #259167

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    A person can be jealous and not be “mad” or offended. Anyone who thinks what she did is wrong is probably female and overweight. There’s probably lots of husbands who are thinking she’s right. I remember catching holy hell on the other site for thinking that spouses have an obligation to each other to be that person they were when they first met. That doesn’t mean you only love someone because they are skinny or pretty. It means you don’t let yourself go. That goes for both sexes. Not just women. How about taking shower and at least fixing yourself up some. I’ve seen moms at school pickup their kids in the same sweats, t shirts and thongs they dropped their kids off in. The “I don’t have time” thing is baloney. Take a shower, do something with your hair even if it’s wearing a hat of throwing it up in a pony tail.

  • #259196

    newmom
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    She looks great and should be proud of herself. I read some articles that claimed what she was wearing was “too skimpy”-nope, not skimpy at all. She covers more than many bathing suits cover.
    As for what moms sometimes wear to pick up at school-that sometimes is me. Taking care of my father these days is another child to care for and there are literally days I go from taking the kids to school, to taking my dad somewhere or doing stuff for him, to picking my son up from Kinder, to making him lunch and doing homework with him and finally cleaning up from breakfast, to then getting my daughter at 2:30. I love the days I do make it to the gym, but I most certainly don’t get in the shower before Kinder pick up. Many days I don’t have time to do my hair after I shower, and since I have curly hair my hair ends up looking the same as when I woke up if I don’t style it, so it goes up in a pony or hat. Fortunately my husband sees all I have going on and understands that I am doing the best I can, and I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.

  • #259200

    violarose
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    Oh Newmom you look great !!!

  • #259201

    violarose
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    I also saw this page on her a few months back, it’s terrific for her. All I can say is 3 boys 3 and under. “oh boy!!!”

  • #259186

    doclaguna
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    And yet it’s OK to have housewhale after housewhale on FB try to sell me they are healthy at 200 lbs. If you are a female and outweigh me, you are not healthy – unless you are a 6 foot bodybuilder. Every time I’m in Starbucks and I see one of these typical Elk Grove moms getting a coffee, it’s always some 500 calorie frap with whipped cream. At some point people need to bite the bullet and take care of themselves. And yes there are no excuses. My wife and I both work full time yet probably do 8 hours of cardio a week. I know we are nutty outliers, but the point is, it’s easy to exercise 30-45 minutes a day, every day. There are no excuses other than laziness. But hey, that’s America.

  • #259168

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    There are no excuses other than laziness.

    There really aren’t unless you’re pulling 12-14 hour days and the last thing you want to do is then do cardio, unless you do it before work. Even then you can do it if you want to. Walking is free and even 30 minutes a day is better than nothing and you should be able to walk 2 miles in that time. I laugh when I see the posts on FB by stay at home moms about how they don’t have time for this or that. Baloney. It’s excuses. You don’t do laundry and clean house every day. Men aren’t jealous of other men who are good looking and in good shape. Not all women are jealous though of course, but the ones that are, are not in good shape and don’t take care of themselves.

  • #259209

    ErinO
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    “What’s your excuse?” What does that mean? Does it mean, “Why aren’t you as beautiful as me?” or “What’s your excuse for not being as beautiful as me?”

    I THINK she is trying to be inspiring to other mothers out there, and suggest that if she can take the time to maintain her physical beauty, while busy raising three young boys, others can too. Is that the point? I certainly think she should have used more inspiring wording than she did. If your goals in life includes being physically beautiful, I think this woman could definitely be inspiring to you. Instead of sounding inspiring though, she sounds antagonistic. I guess that’s why it rubbed some people the wrong way.

    In reading about her, I see she has a history of bulimia and beauty pageantry, so she’s certainly not a role model for healthy behavior. Other than physical beauty, what is she promoting?

    To me, this is one of those pseudo-controversies that really has no point. She is beautiful and has a great body. Okay. Why thumb your nose at others about that? What does that accomplish?

  • #259187

    doclaguna
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    Oy vey… Welcome to America where every mediocrity should be celebrated and every accomplishment envied.

  • #259205

    kindrlindr
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    I read into her saying as “What’s your excuse for being YOUR best?” I didn’t see her say or imply anywhere that anyone else should look like her, or feel bad about themselves if they don’t look like her. Where and why are people getting the offense from?

    And Doc is right. There IS no excuse for not exercising. NONE. Everyone can find a way to exercise IF they make it a priority. There is no wrong or right way, just get moving.

  • #259169

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    @doclaguna 87409 wrote:

    Oy vey… Welcome to America where every mediocrity should be celebrated and every accomplishment envied.

    Accomplishment is reviled in America. You screwed someone over to get that.

  • #259182

    adiffer
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    @erino 87408 wrote:

    To me, this is one of those pseudo-controversies that really has no point. She is beautiful and has a great body. Okay. Why thumb your nose at others about that? What does that accomplish?

    I think we need a bit more of this actually. Diabetes sucks big time.
    If we have to get confrontational to get a few people to avoid it, so be it.

    What I’d like to see is whether or not a confrontational approach does any good. If it does, I’d be all for ads like those anti-smoking ones that show the gory details.

  • #259210

    ErinO
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    Nobody sees the irony in this? All assume this woman is the picture of health because she is externally beautiful. In reality, bulimics suffer many long-term irreversible health complications.

  • #259183

    adiffer
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    Hmm… how much personal detail would we have to delve into of hers, though, to know enough to see it?

  • #259206

    kindrlindr
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    And the fit looking man jogging down the street might be a smoker, right? Why are we looking for something to knock her for? She worked her tail off to get that fit. Anything from her past, is infinitely better because of her present level of fitness. She can’t undo her past, but she has made herself the best SHE can be and not made excuses for it. That is what her message says to me. No excuses. Just do it. I didn’t see anyone getting all nutzo on Nike when they came up with that slogan. ;o)

  • #259170

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    She’s also been honest about her past. She didn’t have to disclose that she has fought with bulimia. She operates free fitness classes for moms. She’s at least bringing awareness to the situation and saying stop making excuses. She has touched on a nerve with a lot of moms who are not happy with how they look, yet don’t take the necessary steps to help themselves. They do weight loss programs off and on. Sometimes you need to kick people in the rear to motivate them.

  • #259208

    SteveB6509
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    Her message does not have to only be for moms. I must admit that she is kicking me in the butt a bit. I am not in the shape I should be and I work crazy hours…12-15 hour days are not uncommon. However, I do use that as an excuse when I should be working out more. The last few days, I have felt more of a need to make it to the gym due to her message.

  • #259202

    violarose
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    I would rather spend my time with my precious kids (because I know it goes so fast), than constantly be in the gym, when my girls were so young. I was bone tired with my girls when they were that little.

  • #259211

    ErinO
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    Viola, I think you have good priorities. Spending quality time with your kids will reap many rewards in the long run. I’m sure you are a great mom.

  • #259195

    LC
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    That was Megyn Kelly’s response, too. She said she spent time with her kids and husband after having three children. Except Megyn kinda has it going on physically, gym or not.

  • #259171

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    Not going to the gym because you have kids is fine and that’s a personal preference. BUT it can also be an excuse if that’s the reason a person uses for not being in shape or trying to get in shape. There is a lot of time in the day and one hour a day a few times a week is not going to have adverse affect on kids. It’s not an either or thing. They do have jogger strollers so you can at least walk or jog.

  • #259184

    adiffer
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    Sometimes working out more isn’t as good as working out smarter. Getting the kids involved might teach useful habits in the long run. I’m not offering advice to her, though. I suspect she doesn’t need the help. 8)

    There are ways to work exercise into long work days. It isn’t easy, but it might be easier than turning a 12 hour day into a 15 hr day with lots of gym time. Little things add up.

  • #259188

    doclaguna
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    What’s your excuse? We so far we have kids, long work hours and fear of bulimia… Any more?

  • #259172

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    I can’t work out again unless the Steelers win a Super Bowl, so I’m screwed for awhile. 🙂

  • #259203

    pepsilvr
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    I think her message to some who have their own insecurities about their looks definitley took it the wrong way. Many probably didn’t even really think twice about it I know I didn’t. Good for her if she has the time and the energy to do all those things but she does have a few things to her advantage one hopefully a spouse who is supportive and helps with the kids. Two owning your own business allows you a few more freedoms or felxibility time wise than those who have to punch a time clock and work in a commute. I can say from experience that sometimes kids can dereail your exercise at least mine does I never get peace when I am exercising so I try to include her and that ruins it too because if we walk she will slow me down because she doesn’t want to go. I tell her to ride her bike or roller blade and then she is way ahead of me or want to go home early or 10,000 other things to make my life miserable while trying to to do something I am really not feeling doing in the first place. It is easy to get discouraged. I still do what I can when I can but some weeks are better than others.

  • #259212

    ErinO
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    Going to the gym isn’t a requirement for being healthy. Nobody needs excuses for NOT going to the gym, (as though it’s some sort of life expectation like brushing your teeth or getting plenty of sleep). At the end of the day, the biggest factor to being a healthy weight is what you eat. Too many people think they can overcome a bad diet by going to the gym. Just eat healthy and be active. If you WANT to go to the gym so you can get cut and show off your lovely bod that’s great, but people don’t need to have ab definition to be a healthy. As I said before, beauty does not automatically equal healthy.

  • #259173

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    As I said before, beauty does not automatically equal healthy.

    I think you’re kind of making a straw man argument on that point. No one said beauty = healthy. Overweight is not healthy. You don’t have to go to the gym to be healthy or lose weight. You can exercise and be unhealthy too. She’s talking about excuses. We all have them and they are excuses. It’s not a knock on any one person. It’s all of us. This hits close to home for a lot of people, especially overweight women, which probably make up a large percentage of the dissenters.

  • #259191

    joy
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    I think the weight and beauty thing is intertwined here. I am a parent who has diligently raised children to understand that attractiveness does not equal worth, and I think that’s what bristles me about this.

  • #259207

    kindrlindr
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    “She’s talking about excuses. We all have them and they are excuses. It’s not a knock on any one person. It’s all of us. This hits close to home for a lot of people”

    People don’t like to feel guilty, and I think those this is hitting the hardest are the ones feeling guilty for not making themselves a priority. Me? I am used to feeling guilty, so it doesn’t bother me, and I am getting better about taking care of myself. I know how hard she must have worked to look like that and applaud her and have no problem giving credit where credit is due. She looks incredible. She is more than likely healthier than anyone here(other than DocL……lol) and in my opinion, she shouldn’t have to defend herself. Maybe those who read negativity into her photo need to ask themselves WHY it was so offensive to them.

  • #259189

    doclaguna
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    @joy 87457 wrote:

    I think the weight and beauty thing is intertwined here. I am a parent who has diligently raised children to understand that attractiveness does not equal worth, and I think that’s what bristles me about this.

    How could this possibly “bristle” anyone other than raise he point that women are the most jealous creatures in the world? I see a lot more sloppy women tear apart ones that take care of themselves than vice versa.

  • #259174

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    @doclaguna 87461 wrote:

    How could this possibly “bristle” anyone other than raise he point that women are the most jealous creatures in the world? I see a lot more sloppy women tear apart ones that take care of themselves than vice versa.

    I agree. I don’t think too many fit and healthy women are criticizing her. Even women who know they are overweight or not in shape are not criticizing her. Some women are just jealous. The ones who are most likely not in the fit category.

    I just know from the discussions on women and looks on the other site that the ones most critical of something like this were women who were jealous for whatever reason.

  • #259192

    joy
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    LOL, yes, I’m jealous. That’s it.

  • #259175

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    Way to come clean. You’ll feel better now. 😉

  • #259190

    doclaguna
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    @joy 87466 wrote:

    LOL, yes, I’m jealous. That’s it.

    I’m sure you are. The first step is owning it. The second step is doing something about it. The whole point is not that you have to be as hot as that gal. The point is don’t throw in the towel and weight 200 lbs. throw on the nasty gray sweatshirt and mom jeans that se to be the de facto Elk Grove mom uniform. You can tell when people, men and women just gave up on taking care of themselves.

  • #259214

    saramarshall
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    So many woman and men give up on themselves once they get married and have children. The people that are knocking this woman are just jealous. As a wife, mother and somebody who commutes to work each day she is an inspiration to me :)) You go girl!!!

  • #259176

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    @saramarshall 87480 wrote:

    So many woman and men give up on themselves once they get married and have children. The people that are knocking this woman are just jealous. As a wife, mother and somebody who commutes to work each day she is an inspiration to me :)) You go girl!!!

    That’s the attitude people should have. Good for this woman that she did this. No reason to be jealous of her or put her down for it.

  • #259177

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    @joy 87457 wrote:

    I think the weight and beauty thing is intertwined here. I am a parent who has diligently raised children to understand that attractiveness does not equal worth, and I think that’s what bristles me about this.

    I don’t think this is about “worth”. How you look, feel, act and dress can be a big factor in life though. It’s reality. People have always been judged on their appearance. Whether that’s right or wrong is irrelevant because most everyone does it. She’s not putting anyone down, not saying she’s worth more. She’s challenging people and a lot of people simply don’t like that because it does make them feel uncomfortable.

    I like this quote by Sarah, “So many woman and men give up on themselves once they get married and have children.”
    That is absolutely true. No one is saying a person has to look like they did when they were 25. I have always felt a person is somewhat obligated to try and be that person they were when they met their significant other. If you gain 50, 100 pounds, then it’s really not fair to your spouse. But you can also not be skinny and still be attractive or try to be. Wearing sweats and a sweatshirt all the time and not doing anything to at least make yourself look nice isn’t fair either. Doesn’t have to take an hour to get ready.

  • #259197

    cme5
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    Not every girl can grow up to be a 90 pound Asian woman. Health and beauty takes all shapes and forms. And, the unrealistic body image put onto young girls by society creates health problems down the road, both physical and emotional. I think thats the point people are trying to make. The issue is a little more complicated than just being attributed to jealousy.

  • #259193

    joy
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    Yep.

  • #259178

    EGL Admin
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    @cme5 87485 wrote:

    Not every girl can grow up to be a 90 pound Asian woman. Health and beauty takes all shapes and forms. And, the unrealistic body image put onto young girls by society creates health problems down the road, both physical and emotional. I think thats the point people are trying to make. The issue is a little more complicated than just being attributed to jealousy.

    Says the liberal. 🙂

  • #259179

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    I think what we need is more of this.

    What’s your excuse?

    [ATTACH=CONFIG]1437[/ATTACH]

    Much better image to show people and what they should strive for in life.

  • #259180

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    @cme5 87485 wrote:

    Not every girl can grow up to be a 90 pound Asian woman. Health and beauty takes all shapes and forms. And, the unrealistic body image put onto young girls by society creates health problems down the road, both physical and emotional. I think thats the point people are trying to make. The issue is a little more complicated than just being attributed to jealousy.

    What’s a bigger health problem, obesity or bulimia/anorexia? To the parents who may be concerned about this, what are you doing to insure your kids won’t end up being overweight? I see kids in elementary school that are pretty big and getting bigger. That’s from eating crappy food and too much of it. That’s setting up the kids for some major issues in middle school. Chubby girls don’t do well there. Accepting being overweight presents problems itself.

  • #259198

    tomwaltman
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    BS. There is no point where she is saying that everyone needs to be a 90 lb Asian woman. or that she is the epitome of health. Frankly, I don’t think she is all that, but she is very fit, so good for her. The people griping about this are, as DL puts it, “butt-hurt” about feeling they are being called out for their lack of fitness. Don’t like it? Ignore it. Go about your life as you want. Have enough self-esteem to own your situation and be okay with it. Don’t get bitchy about someone who was not addressing YOU personally. This goes for men and women. Get over yourselves.

  • #259215

    saramarshall
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    Well as a non Asian woman, a mother, a wife and somebody with a career that commutes everyday I have managed not to let myself go. Just sayin…..

  • #259213

    jusme
    Participant
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    @tomwaltman 87491 wrote:

    BS. There is no point where she is saying that everyone needs to be a 90 lb Asian woman. or that she is the epitome of health. Frankly, I don’t think she is all that, but she is very fit, so good for her. The people griping about this are, as DL puts it, “butt-hurt” about feeling they are being called out for their lack of fitness. Don’t like it? Ignore it. Go about your life as you want. Have enough self-esteem to own your situation and be okay with it. Don’t get bitchy about someone who was not addressing YOU personally. This goes for men and women. Get over yourselves.

    Bravo! My sentiments exactly.

  • #259216

    saramarshall
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    Amen!!

  • #259181

    EGL Admin
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    Even Disney is on the fat shaming now too.

    [ATTACH=CONFIG]1444[/ATTACH]

  • #259199

    Annet50
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    I met Maria the other night and she is really nice, we were at a dinner party and she said ” see? I do eat and drink! LOL!” and she had cake too! She gained 35-40 lbs with each kid, and got the weight off and it wasn’t easy. She is just passionate about health and fitness and is sorry that people took it the wrong way. She doesn’t spend hours in the gym, and is busy with her businesses and her children and hubby too. But she is a really nice gal!

  • #259185

    adiffer
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    Cool. Good demonstration of will power.

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