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How to get/have a senior’s license taken away

This topic contains 18 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Slopes 6 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #173970

    newmom
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    Does anyone know how to get a senior citizen’s driver’s license taken away? My father has no business driving anymore. Since moving him up here I’m surprised every day at how he is easily confused about things he has owned for years. For example, we were waiting for Frontier to hook up his land line phone in his apartment and I had his phone (which he has owned for 10 years) on his night stand. He called me from his cell phone saying that we need to buy him a special adapter because his phone is electric, and he needs and adapter that turns the plug (he meant the AC adapter) into a phone line. I tried explaining that the AC adapter gets plugged into the wall outlet, and a phone cord would connect the phone to the wall, and he refused to listen and was adamant that he was right and I was wrong. Before that he couldn’t figure out how to set the alarm on his clock, which he has also owned for years, and another day he called me all upset because his cable wouldn’t go on, when it turned out he was trying to use the remote for his DVD player (which he has also owned for years). Oh, and one of his degrees is engineering, so he was a pretty technical guy. I can’t imagine what he would do in a car, and yet now that he is getting stronger he is talking about driving again. The problem is that if he knows I had anything to do with getting his license taken away he will never speak to me again. He is a danger to himself and others though and should not be on the road.

  • #258561

    doclaguna
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    Express your concerns to his doctor, and have him/her be the bad guy. We can yank licenses. Usually the patient complies. Usually.

  • #258556

    EGL Admin
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    Yeah tough call. My mom had to hide my dads keys so he wouldn’t drive. My mom voluntarily stopped. She felt too weak to drive. My father in law kept driving until about 79 or so and then one day put in drive instead of reverse and crashed at Safeway. My mother in law wanted to keep driving but she had a number of falls and her license expired and we all knew she shouldn’t drive anymore so my wife and her sister basically told her no more.

    I thought he was at Carlton? Did you move him to an apartment? You may end having to be the bad guy. He will get over it.

  • #258562

    LC
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    I think it’s very frightening. I remember my mom lived in fear of having her license pulled. It completely stops their independence, and i don’t think many of them realize how dangerous they can be. I think docl’s suggestion is the best route.

  • #258569

    violarose
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    I am living with this situation now. LC is right, it scares my mom so much. She knows it’s better for me to take her places, she has resolved herself of that. but just having it gone is too much for my mom right now.

  • #258557

    EGL Admin
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    I know my mom missed it a lot but luckily mentally she is still pretty sharp and she knew it wasn’t safe. She was 84 at the time. She had colitis and was really weak and couldn’t get into her car. She had a Ford Explorer. If she had a regular car she may have kept driving.

  • #258563

    newmom
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    Yes he is at Calrton, and I take him to do all his errands and such and Carlton offers transportation too but yes, he wants his independence. He also refuses to believe he is as “old” for his age as he is, which is partly how he got in the mess he is in now with his health. I’ve tried showing him how much a car will cost him when he needs it very little and that transportation is included in his rent but talking to my father is like talking a wall and nothing that happens to him is his fault. I can’t allow him to hurt someone else though. I didn’t know his doctor could yank his license. Thanks for the info.

  • #258570

    pepsilvr
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    based on the memory problems the doctor should be able to do something. When does his license expire? I think DMV makes them do behind the wheel more frequently when they hit a certain age. My grandma just had to do the behind the wheel and she is 73. She is still ok to drive not sure how much longer that will last though. She is definitely driving much slower than used to as in barely the speed limit. We finally got my grandfather to stop when we had to call the police because he could not find his way home. When the police got to the house they found him in the driveway trying to get out of the car. We have also had to disable the car by removing the batteries or making sure there were no keys to any cars left in the house if he was going to be left alone for any period of time.

  • #258567

    Curlzz01
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    I remember years ago when my dad went in for his last drivers license test… He was around 73 and they pulled his license.. Personally I was glad they did because he really didn’t need to be out on the roads anymore. But I just killed him when that happened.. Took his dignity away and he was just crushed.. He didn’t feel like a whole man anymore… He was pretty depressed over it for a long time.. But it needed to be done…When he finally recovered from the hurt he was quite happy for someone else to chauffer him around……

  • #258558

    EGL Admin
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    It’s a loss of independence. It would be like one of us not being able to drubs anymore and having to rely on others for everything. I think that was hard for my mom. She liked to go and get something to eat when she wanted. She doesn’t like to cook anymore so she likes fast food. She’s 87, so not going to make her eat completely healthy now. She’s not overweight and is fairly healthy. She has to watch her blood sugar. She used to go 2-3 times a week. Now we take her or we get something for her. We also cook for her. That’s where a place like Carlton plaza is great because it’s big and you eat at their restaurant. You’re not cooped up in the room or the house.

  • #258571

    ErinO
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    Your father in law may be correct. Some phones just need to be plugged into the the electrical outlet to function. You do not need to plug them into an actual phone jack, like we did in the “olden days.” Google it, if you don’t believe me.

  • #258564

    newmom
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    @EGL Admin 86715 wrote:

    It’s a loss of independence. It would be like one of us not being able to drubs anymore and having to rely on others for everything. I think that was hard for my mom. She liked to go and get something to eat when she wanted. She doesn’t like to cook anymore so she likes fast food. She’s 87, so not going to make her eat completely healthy now. She’s not overweight and is fairly healthy. She has to watch her blood sugar. She used to go 2-3 times a week. Now we take her or we get something for her. We also cook for her. That’s where a place like Carlton plaza is great because it’s big and you eat at their restaurant. You’re not cooped up in the room or the house.

    What the heck is drubs?

  • #258565

    newmom
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    @erino 86716 wrote:

    Your father in law may be correct. Some phones just need to be plugged into the the electrical outlet to function. You do not need to plug them into an actual phone jack, like we did in the “olden days.” Google it, if you don’t believe me.

    No, I’ve already plugged his phone in. He needed a phone cord, and the AC adapter plugged into the wall. He thought he needed an adapter that went from his plug for the AC adapter to the phone jack on the wall.

  • #258559

    EGL Admin
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    @newmom 86719 wrote:

    What the heck is drubs?

    LOL, wow, good question. I guess I meant drive. LOL.

  • #258560

    EGL Admin
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    @erino 86716 wrote:

    Your father in law may be correct. Some phones just need to be plugged into the the electrical outlet to function. You do not need to plug them into an actual phone jack, like we did in the “olden days.” Google it, if you don’t believe me.

    Which type of phones are those? All land lines need a phone jack don’t they? Not all the chargers need a phone jack because one can be a base and the others just a charger.

  • #258574

    Slopes
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    Totally understand your dilemma!!! My mother in law refuses to accept it too!!! She actually got l”lost” on one of the round a bouts…. Kept going around and around… Said she couldn’t figure out how to get off :(. She’s lived here for 50+ years!!!!
    The hubby has talked to her doc and explained the situation….. We just can’t get her to go for her checkup so he can do the dirty work 🙁

  • #258568

    sea
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    DMV has an senior ombudsman program. Contact them. I know LE has a form they can fill out to request a senior driver be reviewed, either on a routine or emergency basis. I can’t remember but I thought there was one for us civilians also. The ombudsman program should be able to help.

    Yes, it’s weird to be a civilian again, it’s been a long time!!!

  • #258573

    mpandgp
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    We had a heck of a time with my Mom. She was fiercely independent. She was mentally good, but had such bad neuropathy in her feet, and was becoming too timid of a driver. I finally had to tell her I could let her drive with her granddaughters in the car. She was PISSED! We eventually got her to sell her beloved Monte Carlo…she was pissed all over again. I finally got her to the point – “If your feet get better, I’ll help you find another car.” I could deal with that & she was able to not be mad at me.
    So perhaps you can get him to focus on something that won’t change, he can’t be mad at your. Good luck.

  • #258572

    ErinO
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    @EGL Admin 86724 wrote:

    Which type of phones are those? All land lines need a phone jack don’t they? Not all the chargers need a phone jack because one can be a base and the others just a charger.

    Well if you have your phone service through the internet (VOIP) then you can utilize your home’s power wiring to access the signal (power-line networking). This technology utilizes the homes existing wiring (electrical wiring) so that new lines don’t have to be run. You’d just have to plug your phone into an electrical outlet to access the signal. Alternatively, if you have a phone with an old school phone cord that needs to be plugged into an actual phone jack, you can purchase an adapter that turns any power outlet into a phone jack. I thought perhaps Newmom’s father in law might have been referring to this, but it sounds like she is sure that wasn’t the case.

  • #258566

    newmom
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    No, his was just an old school regular phone. He’s had it for 10 years though, which is why it was surprising that he couldn’t figure out how to use it.

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