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Loud kids at restaurants

This topic contains 24 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  SheldonTeacher 4 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #175223

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    After cutting down our trees yesterday in Apple Hill we stopped at a local restaurant and had lunch. While we waited to be seated the waitress asked if we wanted the main dining area or the back room with pool tables and video games. The back room was very loud with some kids back there playing so we said the main room. There was another group waiting next to us and my wife joked the main room will be a lot quieter to one of the women in the group. We sat down and the other group waiting behind us sat down across the aisle from us. There 2 couples and each had two younger kids, I would say all were between 7-11 years old. The adults sat at one end and the kids sat on the other end closest to us. Kids that age should be able to behave somewhat, eat without making too much noise and stay in their seats while eating. That’s a pet peeve of ours while eating is kids walking around the restaurant or the tables. These kids were off the hook loud and getting up and walking around to the other side of the table. The dad sitting closest to them told them they needed to keep it down because people were looking at them. He was referring to people sitting behind them, not us. It had been a long day up there for looking for trees and we went two tree farms so we wanted at least some quiet while eating. I am not a fan of admonishing other peoples kids in front of them because that’s a good way to piss people off. I will do it if the parents aren’t around or if the parents are too stupid to do anything. These parents were in their own little world talking and not even paying attention to the kids. They were oblivious to the noise or just used to it maybe. My wife is anti-drama and not one to say anything. So I see her writing something on a napkin. Something like “your kids have the worst manners I have ever seen. Maybe you should be paying more attention to them instead of talking.”
    I asked what are you going to do with that? She said give it to them. I said okay, let’s pay our bill first and then me and the boys will start walking out and then you do that. Sure enough she handed it to the dad who has earlier told them to be quiet and never did anything else about it. I kept walking and didn’t look back! I was glad she did it, but I wanted no part of that. It’s not like we were at Chuck E Cheese where you expect it to be loud. It was a cafe type restaurant. We’ve always taken our kids to restaurants since they were infants and never had an issue and usually the waitress or someone next to us comments on how good they are at restaurants. It’s just laziness by parents who don’t care to keep their kids in line. If it was a baby or toddler that would be different. Kids 7+ should know how to behave.

  • #270853

    newmom
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    That’s horrible. I think I would have discreetly spoken to the manager of the restaurant about the kids’ behavior. Parents like that give all parents a bad name and are the reasons some restaurants don’t allow kids anymore. I require our kids be very well behaved in restaurants as well (not that my almost 7 year doesn’t still try to get out of line) but when we notice kids who are poorly behaved I point them out so they see why we are hard on them in public places. My son is young enough that he doesn’t understand the reasons we make the kids behave other than because we told him to, so seeing it with his own eyes is the best lesson.

  • #270849

    joy
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    I agree, newmom. I still remember standing in line at that custard place that was over by Kohl’s and there were these two kids old enough to know better (for sure over 8 or so) who were behaving atrociously in line. I leaned in and told my two older kids that that is exactly what they look like when they don’t behave. They were appalled. I really think that visual was helpful.

  • #270854

    newmom
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    I remember one day several years ago my son and I were in Target and a kid was having a full blown meltdown. I felt for the mom, as the kid was screaming and yelling and crying at the top of his lungs. The mom was taking him out of the store, but everybody was staring at them. My son covered his ears (he is sensitive to loud noises-except the ones that he makes of course) and said something about the kid being so loud and annoying and it wasn’t nice to everyone else. I explained that we had to take him out of Target once for having a meltdown, and that he was just as annoying as that kid was and everyone stared at him like they were staring at the little boy. For about a year I just had to mention that little boy if he started acting up.

  • #270840

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    My wife wanted to give the note to the manager but I figured that wouldn’t do much and they probably wouldn’t say anything. We probably should have verbally said something to the parents but it is kind of awkward. I think it goes one of two ways. They either accept and do something or they become defensive. Most likely the latter. Parents who don’t notice it aren’t going to think they did anything wrong. A few years ago I was showing homes to a couple with a little boy. Probably 5. The parents are walking around the house and not even paying attention to the kids. It was Christmas time and the sellers had lots of stuff out and I’m trying to show the house and I’m putting things back that the kid is picking up. I’m saying things kind of loud like be careful, don’t touch that, hoping the parents get the hint. Nooe. So they end up making an offer on the house and want to go back and see it again. The other Realtor calls me and said that was fine but the sellers had a request. Could the buyers leave their child at home or watch him better. So I tell the buyers that and they are mad. So me being me, I say to be honest your son was touching a lot of things and playing with things and I was following him around putting it back. I told them you should hold his hand or keep an eye on him. They were not happy. They couldn’t believe I said that.

  • #270855

    newmom
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    Many parents don’t see that their kids are poorly behaved or think it is appropriate to behave certain ways in some places. With people I don’t know in a restaurant I wouldn’t care, but I can see how delicate a situation it is with a client. I think if my husband and I were looking at houses I would get a babysitter rather than take the kids anyway, because the kids are just going to distract us and prevent us from looking at the things that are important to us in the house. I wouldn’t bring the kids along to until later in the process.

  • #270851

    LC
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    Anyone who has not had a young child act out in a restaurant or store probably has a kid with a problem. They just do on occasion until they know better. Ours did infrequently, and we just left the place in deference to other people. We’ve never said anything to anyone else, and wouldn’t. We have asked to be moved in a restaurant a time or two. I think it’s best to just leave and not be confrontational. I like Newmom’s method of making an example of a child acting out to her own children too.

  • #270841

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    I agree. I wasn’t comfortable with saying anything to them. It was obnoxious. We were already eating and there was not anywhere else to sit. We should have went outside because it was not that cold. Honestly I don’t think our kids have acted up much at a restaurant. We are both pretty strict about that because we don’t want to disturb others. Kids learn fast, even at a young age. I think the kids in question probably know better, but there was 4 of them and I think if the parents would have said something and be persistent they would have been okay. The only thing said was by the dad and how he said it wasn’t in a disciplinary. It was more like “hey, you guys are making so much noise people are looking at you.” If he would have said, you need to be quiet and stay in your seat and then follow up it probably would have been okay. We do point out to our kids what other kids do. Our youngest sometimes likes to get up when he finishes and he comes over to the other side of the table, and we are like you need to go sit down until we are ready to leave.

  • #270842

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    @newmom 100199 wrote:

    That’s horrible. I think I would have discreetly spoken to the manager of the restaurant about the kids’ behavior. Parents like that give all parents a bad name and are the reasons some restaurants don’t allow kids anymore. I require our kids be very well behaved in restaurants as well (not that my almost 7 year doesn’t still try to get out of line) but when we notice kids who are poorly behaved I point them out so they see why we are hard on them in public places. My son is young enough that he doesn’t understand the reasons we make the kids behave other than because we told him to, so seeing it with his own eyes is the best lesson.

    They did end up buying the house, but they weren’t happy. I don’t regret what I said. I got this thing about kids, because I watch mine like a hawk and I watch other kids too. I watch how they interact with each other and what they do when they don’t think people are watching. A lot of parents don’t do that. Coaching kids in sports, I have zero tolerance for screwing around, hitting other kids or doing stuff they shouldn’t. I am not afraid to say something when I am coaching them. I will say it loud enough for their parents to hear. Sometimes I make them run laps if they act up.

  • #270858

    lizzie
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    I do not like crying kids in restaurants, churches or other public places. My husband went to Season 52 yesterday. There is no kid’s menu. I only saw 2 kids about age 8.

  • #270843

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    We’ve taken our kids there a few times. it’s definitely not really a kids place. They don’t have burgers and that type of stuff. Our kids like the flat bread pizza type appetizers and chicken, but not much else.

  • #270864

    SheldonTeacher
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    This is why I love places with great To Go service. No screaming and yelling kids at my house.

  • #270857

    violarose
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    I hate hate …. loud demanding kids in a restaurant. !!!! I had my babies, I know they can be obnoxious at any given moment. That is why you are prepared to leave at any given moment. Thats why its an adventure , because you never know how its going to turn out. My girls were not allowed to act like brats. When it occurred, I would leave with the child. Even if that meant i was leaving a nice just arrived hot dish. I would leave the store when they acted up, go to the car. If I could get them to rationalize that they could not have a fit, we would go back, if not, adventure over. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fun , but thats what you do!

  • #270859

    kindrlindr
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    If parents attended to their kids this wouldn’t happen. It’s what’s happening with everything these days. You have kids, they’re YOUR responsibility. It’s not just a novelty people. How can some people be so oblivious???

  • #270844

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    I think some parents are of the “pick your battles” group. I am not a fan of that group. Because I think when you start losing battles, you lose the war eventually and then you end up with teens who don’t listen and don’t respect you. Not always of course, but I think there is an age to let them to that and it depends on what it is. I like to mix it up with our kids. Sometimes I let them get away with something and then sometimes I drop the hammer on them. Usually the latter happens if they whine or complain too much about something. The less they complain the more likely it is they might slide by. But sometimes I make them do something on principle. My wife sometimes is a stickler for things and then sometimes she says “pick your battles”. When it comes to manners though she is very strict, much more so than I am. Not so much about making noise, but stuff like keeping elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed, sit up straight, say thank you and please.

    I think the parents at the restaurant were so engrossed in their own conversation that they were oblivious to what was going on and might have figured the kids weren’t that bad. I would add that we go out quite a bit and it’s rare that something like that happens. We don’t go to fancy places very often, mostly family type place where it’s not super quiet. We did go to Silva’s for Thanksgiving and that was nice. There were some kids there and everyone was great.

  • #270860

    kindrlindr
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    Pick your battles?? Teaching your kid to be respectful and presentable in public is battle NUMERO UNO in life!

  • #270861

    Ila
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    I have experienced this same thing in department stores of kids gone wild. I was going through a rack of clothes one time and some kid crawled right out from underneath a rack, between my legs, and another little one came barreling through right after him. Number 1 it scared the crap out of me as I was not expecting it and number 2 where the hell were the parents? I did let out a pretty loud yelp when that kid came between my legs, good thing it was a little tyke and I wasn’t knocked over, but even with my loud yelp, no parent came to find the kids or to see the commotion that was going on.

  • #270850

    kermit
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    Crying babies in restaurants don’t bother me, but in a movie theater yes! Get a sitter or watch a DVD at home.

    I am pretty tolerant when it comes to active little ones but there comes a time when kids at restaurants need to be behaved and the parents need to be held accountable for their behavior. Take the kid outside if their actions are unacceptable. So your food gets cold – reheat it at home.

    I do like the way your wife handled the situation though. The non-confrontational note was a nice touch and let the parents know that the kids actions needed to be reeled in. Maybe next time they will be more attentive.

  • #270845

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    It was either a wake up call or they are in denial.

  • #270863

    mpandgp
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    Parents need to do their JOB 24/7 and that includes setting a good example for their children.
    We practiced good table habits & manners at home. Eating with good manners, staying in your seat until everyone is done, etc. So going out was seldom an issue…but yes, ours did act up on occasion & we had to have ‘chats’ outside. But by the time they were 9-11 we could take them most anywhere. They learned to love good restaurants at an early ach to the dismay of our wallets!

  • #270846

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    Yes, that last part is true! Our son likes Filet mignon. Yeah how about you get a cheeseburger instead son. He’s 12 and has been eating off the adult menu now. I have a hard time spending $30 on a kids meal.

  • #270856

    newmom
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    Our 12 year old goes back and forth between the kids’ menu and the adult menu, depending on where we are and what is available. And I think the behavior of the kids-to a point-will be different depending on where you are. Red Robin is going to be different that a nice restaurant. You expect kids to not be at their finest at Red Robin.

  • #270847

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    Definitely. It’s place by place. BJ’s is louder. Most places it is table conversation which is fine. Red Robin is a little louder, but not too bad. Leatherby’s is louder too.

  • #270852

    LC
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    @EGL Admin 100388 wrote:

    Yes, that last part is true! Our son likes Filet mignon. Yeah how about you get a cheeseburger instead son. He’s 12 and has been eating off the adult menu now. I have a hard time spending $30 on a kids meal.

    If he’s going to order steak, at least show him a man’s cut!! No filet!

  • #270862

    ErinO
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    I must be getting old, because I’m starting to sound like my grandparents. “People nowadays just don’t have the manners they used to.” Terrible that people let their kids be so disruptive to others. I think it’s laziness and often parents have poor manners themselves so they don’t even know they need to teach their kids to behave better.

    Adults are not much better. I’ve frequently heard adults answer their cell phone in public and then proceed to have loud conversations that everyone nearby has to listen to. The prize-winner is a woman I recently observed (granted this was at a pizza place, so manners can be a bit more lax here) who came out to the dining room on her break and put her cell phone on SPEAKER, then made several calls to friends and just chatted it up out loud for everyone to hear. What the heck?!!

  • #270848

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    Good grief. I think it’s older people, 45+ who for some reason use the speaker phone. Maybe they can’t hear. They walk around staring at and talking into their phone.

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