Trader Joe’s to Close All Stores by 2017

This topic contains 5 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  SteveB6509 3 years, 8 months ago.

  • Author
  • #177278

    • Topics - 268
    • Replies - 1,786
    • Total Posts - 2,054

    Trader Joe’s closing all stores

    In a surprising press release this morning, Trader Joe’s announced they will be closing all 457 locations by January 2017. The company has been having financial problems for a while, and with online sales and so many new organic food stores opening competition has been incredibly stiff. The past year they have been slashing prices to combat their main competitor Whole Foods, however this was not enough to keep up.

    “The competition has been steeper and steeper every quarter,” said CEO Dan Bane. “At this point, there isn’t enough cookie butter in the world to pave the road ahead.” They will start rolling out store closings in May of this year starting with Florida locations.

    Despite widespread protests from consumers, Trader Joe’s has no plans to continue manufacturing or distributing any of its signature vegetarian, vegan, and organic products. According to John Mackey, co-founder and co-CEO of Whole Foods, they made an offer to continue carrying popular cookie butter brand Speculoos at Whole Foods stores nationwide, however Trader Joe’s declined this offer.

    “We truly appreciated the offer,” said Bane. “But there is a time and a place for everything, and it appears our time has run out.” With Trader Joe’s gone, Whole Foods will corner the market on organic foods, but there is still time to stock up on your favorite TJ brands before stores close entirely.

    If this shocking news hits you as hard as it hit me, fear not. It’s merely April 1st. Now go celebrate being a fool with your favorite cheap wine.

  • #293218

    • Topics - 91
    • Replies - 530
    • Total Posts - 621

    uhh, It’s March 31st today. You started early. Not nice. ha ha.

  • #293219

    • Topics - 36
    • Replies - 1,460
    • Total Posts - 1,496

    Well, it is April 1st in Australia so I guess that qualifies.

  • #293215

    • Topics - 99
    • Replies - 3,934
    • Total Posts - 4,033


  • #293216

    • Topics - 268
    • Replies - 1,786
    • Total Posts - 2,054

    Does anyone here ever do a big April Fools prank on someone? I’m sure the internet will be full of them tomorrow. I wanted to do something fun to the kids, but didn’t’ come up with anything…

  • #293214

    EGL Admin
    • Topics - 3,082
    • Replies - 21,888
    • Total Posts - 24,970

    One of my FB friends shared this and believed it. A couple of weeks ago she shared something else that wasn’t true. She’s also an avid Trump supporter which fits in my category of trump voters. Low info, low IQ. They are very gullible.

  • #293217

    • Topics - 268
    • Replies - 1,786
    • Total Posts - 2,054

    Aren’t we all hoping Trump played the biggest April fool of all time – please tell he is going to announce that this was all just a joke.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.