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"Happy Wife, Happy Life" Phrase

This topic contains 50 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  Bainc 4 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #176502

    norules
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    My wife hates this phrase. If I ever want to push her button, I say that phrase, jokingly of course. We hear this phrase said a lot on some home buying or home remodeling shows. When they are talking about spending a lot of money on remodeling something and there are two differing opinions, the husband will say “Happy wife, happy life” and goes along with what her selection. Then the wife is all smiling and happy. Really?

    Is that a healthy relationship motto? Is it a cop out, so you don’t have to make a big decision and then blame the wife for that decision if it ends up being a bad decision? Is it a good phrase to keep peace in the relationship?

  • #286131

    plasmadrive
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    It’s healthy over here!

  • #286118

    norules
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    Ha ha.

  • #286112

    violarose
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    As a woman and a wife, I dont mind the expression. It’s not one of our phrases we use, unless hubby does under his breath. 🙂

  • #286123

    Ila
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    I pretty much like the phrase, and if I make an incorrect decision ( which I never do :), Dr. Bubba knows not to blame me, because if he really didn’t want or have what I chose, he would say something.

  • #286088

    EGL Admin
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    I don’t think it’s a cop out at all. It’s one of those stereotypes that people may not like, but it has some truth to it. Men and women are just different when it comes to some things. Men are pretty simple to understand most of the time. There’s a graphic phrase that pretty much holds true most of the time. When we show homes, the guy is concerned about the backyard and the garage, where can he put his big screen. The wife likes the finer touches. Most guys don’t care what the bedding looks like as long as the bed is comfortable. The wife usually wants something nice. It’s a tradeoff. If you’re wife is not happy, you won’t have a happy house. That’s a guarantee. You learn to pick your battles on both sides. When to walk away.

  • #286119

    norules
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    Yea, but you can say that about anything regarding if your wife is not happy. Heck, then the wife gets whatever she wants using that attitude. OOHHHH! I get it now. 17 years later. Ha ha.

  • #286089

    EGL Admin
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    Not everything. Big things need to be discussed. Stuff like color of the carpet, new bedding etc, guys don’t usually care that much about it.

  • #286099

    LC
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    Doc nailed it. Bedding! Who gives a s**t about the freaking bedding??? Uh….my wife, for one. So you go along with it, if it doesn’t matter to you. Took me awhile to learn that.

  • #286132

    plasmadrive
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    My wife has yet another phase.. “I never said it was your fault, I only said I would blame you””…. she says with a smirk…. This is used when something goes wrong that she knows I had nothing to do with… LOL

    Life it too short to get in battles over stuff that, in the end, doesn’t really matter.. it is more fun to spend time making her happy then worrying about whether she is or not. So… Happy wife, Happy life is valid!

  • #286090

    EGL Admin
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    When something goes wrong in our house my wife has a saying. “Punch them in the face and get mad at daddy.” So whatever goes wrong is my fault. Our kids caught on and started asking why is that dad’s fault? She would say it just is. So that’s when that saying came up. Pretty funny now. On the bedding I don’t care much except one time she bought this POS duvet cover. The comforter goes inside. Looked nice and was nice to lay on top of but sucked to sleep under. The comforter part would get balled up and it barely covered the bed. I want a regular comforter that overlaps and covers the whole bed. She finally got tired of me complaining and got rid of it. Other than that I don’t care. Any decorations or pictures in the house are all uo to her.

  • #286120

    norules
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    Oh yeah, I get the small stuff. Hell, I got flowers on my bedsheets. When we remodeled our kitchen, I did not say “happy wife, happy life” on that with a budget over $40K. I did say “well, you use the the kitchen more often and love cooking, so you have more say on what we need for the kitchen”. But, no way in heck was she going to get a $70K kitchen because she wanted it and “happy wife, happy life”. Granted, I was the one who initiated the remodel because I knew she wanted to redo the kitchen. She has been loving it. So, there is some validity to “Happy wife, Happy life”.

  • #286113

    violarose
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    Love reading these.

  • #286128

    Anonymous
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    I don’t care either way if people use the phrase. Most the time its probably tongue and cheek. And if both husband and wife have a god sense of humor then its more of a sarcastic and playful phrase.
    Seems that women should be more offended by this. If you take it at face value it means than if women aren’t happy they will make your life miserable?? If your family lives by this motto then I think the husband is spineless. Both husband and wife should be happy. But this is coming from a single man and maybe that’s why I am single… 🙂

  • #286121

    norules
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    Oh, don’t you worry. There are floral bedsheets in your future. ha ha.

  • #286129

    Anonymous
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    @norules 117214 wrote:

    Oh, don’t you worry. There are floral bedsheets in your future. ha ha.

    Oh no… Anything but floral bed sheets.

  • #286114

    violarose
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    and pink bathrooms and pink refrigerators and everything pink’. Got my hubby convinced to paint my car pink, now he wants to, but I was like I was seeing how far you would go, I dont want a pink car, i dont want anybody looking at me. you have to be happy, lol.

  • #286130

    Anonymous
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    @violarose 117220 wrote:

    and pink bathrooms and pink refrigerators and everything pink’. Got my hubby convinced to paint my car pink, now he wants to, but I was like I was seeing how far you would go, I dont want a pink car, i dont want anybody looking at me. you have to be happy, lol.

    and seashells in the bathroom, frilly towels..

    Bachelor life is looking good. 🙂

  • #286106

    newmom
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    @CJay916 117215 wrote:

    Oh no… Anything but floral bed sheets.

    That’s what my husband said….once upon a time. Resistance is futile!!!

  • #286091

    EGL Admin
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    There is generally less resistance if something is happening between the sheets. 🙂

  • #286107

    newmom
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    That’s between you and your wife.

  • #286092

    EGL Admin
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    As it should be. Just an FYI to you ladies though too.

  • #286138

    Bainc
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    This phrase is true to a point but on the finance/house buying side of things I think people can take it too far. How many husbands say happy wife happy life and buy too much house or too nice of cars for their pocketbook only to have added strain to the marriage? I’ll say happy wife happy life on things that don’t matter like sheets, paint color, etc but it’s not happening if it’s something we can’t afford.

  • #286096

    adiffer
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    My wife doesn’t like the phrase much, but that’s probably because of the passive-aggressive tone some guys use when saying it.
    Tone of voice probably matters more than the words.

    In general, though, it’s a good idea to keep the wife happy.
    Working at our marriages is in our marriage vows anyway, right?
    This is just part of the plan if we treat them as real human beings instead of slaves. 8)

  • #286115

    violarose
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    My husband buys awful things, He is so blessed I put up with it. He likes halloween :/ I shake my head. 😉

  • #286097

    adiffer
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    Do we need a corresponding rhyme for husbands?
    That would probably tick off a lot of feminists. 8)

    Happy hubby, happy …?
    I’m at a loss to extend ‘Happy wife, happy life’ by analogy.

  • #286124

    Ila
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    Hey Al, how about Happy Hubby, Happy Home!

  • #286133

    plasmadrive
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    aahhh… naaahhhh.. try again.. :p

  • #286100

    LC
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    It’s our job to make it work.

  • #286134

    plasmadrive
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    @lc 117268 wrote:

    It’s our job to make it work.

    whssm

  • #286093

    EGL Admin
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    This came up last night. We were having dinner with 2 other couples and their kids at our house. The kids were off playing and the couples were sitting around joking and one of the husbands said “I wish someone had told me ‘happy wife, happy life’ a long time ago.” It’s not that the wife always has to be happy. Both sides have to learn to pick their battles. You hope all decisions are joint, but sometimes if one feels so strongly about something then you think about is it worth fighting about?

  • #286108

    newmom
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    A successful couple knows when something is more important to their spouse. Does my husband care about things like sheets, towels, bedding, etc? Nope. But I’m also not going to buy something I know he hates. That would be rude and disrespectful. And I know that if he really expresses an opinion about something that is house related, then I really need to consider what he’s saying because of the fact that normally doesn’t care about that kind of thing. I also know that if he is excited about buying something, as long as it’s something we can afford and it’s not a stupid purchase we will never use, then to let him, because he rarely buys things for himself. Our new pellet grill is an example of that. Did we need to higher end model he purchased? No. Will we use all the extra features? Yes, but maybe not very often. Does it make him really happy to have it? Yes. Do I benefit from having him cook fabulous meals for the family on it? Heck yes.

  • #286101

    LC
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    Our new pellet grill is an example of that. Did we need to higher end model he purchased? No. Will we use all the extra features? Yes, but maybe not very often. Does it make him really happy to have it? Yes. Do I benefit from having him cook fabulous meals for the family on it? Heck yes.

    Plus, it just looks good, and that matters too. You can have the nicest outdoor furniture, yet a POS grill nearby takes away some of the pop. Yours will always be additive to any outdoor setting. That’s worth something.

  • #286109

    newmom
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    Well, we ended up keeping the POS Weber for when we do quick things like burgers. Steaks we have been doing on the Mak. Last two times we’ve put a cast iron pan on the Mak and let it get really hot, and did the steak on that. It was delish.

  • #286102

    LC
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    Well, maintain it! I’ve pretty much spent the entire weekend stripping, repairing, and re-seasoning my cast iron network. PITA!!!! But worth it. I’m doing some steaks in the pan too now–really a nice change from grilling. And FYI, NO Weber is a POS 🙂

  • #286103

    LC
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    BTW, and not to sound combative, but your cast iron skillet doesn’t get much hotter then your grill, if any. Lodge sent me a grill for a review, and I put a thermocouple on both the Weber gas grill and the Lodge cast iron grate, directly above one bank of gas flames, sitting on the Weber grill. The Weber grill measured 435° at peak, and the best I could get out of the Lodge grate was 5-8° more, and that’s over direct flame. The “very hot” is an illusion.

    With that said, one of the very good foodie blogs, I think seriouseats.com, tested a “high end non stick” pan against a cast iron pan, and said the non-stick was slightly better in results. Last night I used our All Clad non stick, which I’m pretty sure qualifies for high end, and I saw a HUGE difference with a strong preference for the cast iron. I think it’s the vastly superior heat dispersion and heat holding. Anyway, I love cooking anything on cast iron. Plus, the cast iron pan was about 25% the cost of All Clad, even though it requires a LOT of special cleaning and maintenance.

  • #286110

    newmom
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    I don’t know, but the steaks were great. Yum. Some rosemary in the pan, a little blue cheese butter. It was delish.

  • #286104

    LC
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    Most people would put the rosemary on the steaks. Your method is correct–heating the aromatics first. Blue cheese butter, eh? Liking this!

  • #286098

    adiffer
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    @ila 117261 wrote:

    Hey Al, how about Happy Hubby, Happy Home!

    Heh. Alliteration. Nice shift.

    I’ll try it out on my wife and check back later. 8)

  • #286116

    violarose
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    My hubby has work changes , I am not happy. life is not happy.

  • #286135

    plasmadrive
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    But Violarose.. Hubby has work!

  • #286126

    ActionEmotion
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    Happy Wife Happy Life, makes sense to me. Consider the alternative, unhappy wife…yeah, that isn’t going to be much fun.

  • #286136

    plasmadrive
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    @Action>Emotion 117382 wrote:

    Happy Wife Happy Life, makes sense to me. Consider the alternative, unhappy wife…yeah, that isn’t going to be much fun.

    Smart!

  • #286094

    EGL Admin
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    I think same goes for unhappy husband to a certain degree. If the husband isn’t happy, then he isn’t going to care if the wife is happy. But, yeah I think the saying makes a lot of sense. 🙂

  • #286117

    violarose
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    Oh gosh, I know. if the hubby is too tired to do family activities, or anything because they are so so tired from work, that certainly isn’t a happy husband. In all seriousness, both people deserve to have happiness. A Happy Family is a happy family. Both people (men & woman) deserve it.

  • #286111

    tomwaltman
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    Marriage, without equal enjoyment and happiness, is just servitude . If both people are not happy and fulfilled by the union, then one is nothing more than a servant to the other. When you monitize a relationship… well, ask the girls on Stockton Blvd. how that works. You cannot buy love or happiness. You might buy loyalty in a person, but then a dog is much cheaper and a hell of a lot less trouble.

  • #286127

    ActionEmotion
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    @tomwaltman 117423 wrote:

    Marriage, without equal enjoyment and happiness, is just servitude . If both people are not happy and fulfilled by the union, then one is nothing more than a servant to the other. When you monitize a relationship… well, ask the girls on Stockton Blvd. how that works. You cannot buy love or happiness. You might buy loyalty in a person, but then a dog is much cheaper and a hell of a lot less trouble.

    From “The Book of Quotes” by Tom Waltman

  • #286095

    EGL Admin
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    It must be in the fiction section. 🙂

  • #286105

    LC
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    @EGL Admin 117554 wrote:

    It must be in the fiction section. 🙂

    Look over there! WAAAAAY to the left :biggrin:

  • #286122

    egca95624
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    My wife and I refer to a phrase often: “you can choose to be right, or you can choose to be happy.” Generally, we choose to be happy.

  • #286137

    plasmadrive
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    @egca95624 117572 wrote:

    My wife and I refer to a phrase often: “you can choose to be right, or you can choose to be happy.” Generally, we choose to be happy.

    LOL! I will show this to my wife.. she will say, “yeah.. we know this”. LOL

  • #286125

    ErinO
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    There definitely should be a reciprocal phrase. I know if my husband’s football team wins, there is a happy glow on the week for the whole family, so we all benefit if they win. This applies to all areas of life. If my husband is happy, everyone else will have a better time too.

    Hubby strife leads to a bummer life.

    Make him happy or everything’s crappy.

    Happy Dad makes everyone glad.

    Husbands with smiles are generous for miles.

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